Maybe it's those 'inspirational' stories of high school weirdos that turned out to be so successful later in life. Or maybe it's the recent MGMT musical influences (seriously, how do those boys make strange music sound sooo good?) But in any case, I've always thought that being unique and different was cool. Perhaps I was just justifying my own awkwardness or purely making myself feel better.
But as much as I always try to tell myself that, when I am actually in that uncomfortable position in reality, it's not so easy to be so confident in my own awkwardness. When I am around a bunch of strangers, and especially when they're already in a group of their own, I am this embarassed and soft-spoken girl, highly insecure about her appearance and her lack of ability to be outgoing and sociable. I usually feel like running away and hiding in an enclosed space.
I don't know, it's not exactly that I'm shy. In a way, I just prefer not to be in that awkward position. It's only in more comfortable situations do I really open up and become more confident, like the things I've done in the past; theatre, debate (okay I didn't do so well in that one!), class chairperson and public presentations.
That's why I hate orientations. I hate the kind of weird, insecure person I become in orientations. And before my warwick orientation experience (which was so strangely pleasant), I've never had a pleasant orientation experience.
After all that is said, I just hope I adapt quickly into the office during my internship the week after next. Fingers crossed, I don't turn into the office's shy weirdo.
Wish me luck(:
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